The college admissions season can be a stressful time for college-bound students and their parents. At this point in the year, high school seniors have completed the stressful process of applying to college and are starting to receive admissions decisions. They’ve gone from completing and submitting applications, to anxiously checking inboxes for results, and worrying about which college to attend. As acceptance letters roll in, a wild mix of emotions can come with them, from excitement to disappointment, and certainty to confusion. Here are some tips for navigating the ups and downs of the process:
Students:
- Set realistic expectations for yourself and for your family. Don’t expect acceptances to every school, and don’t expect acceptance to your first-choice school. Stay positive and hopeful, but temper your expectations.
- Stay positive: Remember, there are many exciting opportunities ahead, regardless of your application outcomes.
- Be prepared for rejection. Even if you have done everything “right”, you may not be accepted to a school. If you are denied admittance, don’t take it personally. Colleges are businesses first-and-foremost, and their decisions are based on their current institutional needs and priorities. Your denial at a school may have nothing to do with your qualifications, but admission is also just plain competitive: there are many qualified students who are applying to the same schools as you, and each one stands the same chance at acceptance or denial. Focus on the schools that accepted you.
- Express gratitude: Thank those who supported you, from teachers and coaches to counselors, mentors, friends and family. Gratitude can positively change your attitude!
- Remember that you are not alone. Talk to someone if you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed about the college admissions process. Your school counselor, a family member or trusted adult can help you work through your emotions and thoughts. Also, your peers are going through the same process, and sharing experiences can help you and the other student feel more grounded.
- Take care of yourself. Make sure you are eating well, getting enough sleep, staying active, spending time with friends and family, and spending time outside.
- Share with care: Consider how (and whether) to share college news with friends and peers. Be mindful of how you are perceiving others’ news, as well as how you might share your own, as friends or peers may receive an outcome (positive or not) that is different from yours.
- Celebrate: You’ve completed the application phase of the process and that’s something to celebrate! Take a beat to appreciate and be proud of the work you’ve already done. And for the acceptances? Celebrate each and every one.
Some extra notes for parents: Show your student love and support!
- Acknowledge your child’s hard work and emphasize their achievements—regardless of the outcome.
- Reassure them that their worth isn’t defined by admissions decisions.
- Allow space for them to express their emotions without judgment.
- Remind them that college is just one step of a journey, not the final destination.
- Manage your expectations: Admissions are subjective and acceptances often come down to a game of numbers. Remind yourself that rejections aren’t a reflection of your child’s value or abilities. Colleges are businesses, first and foremost, and make decisions based on their current institutional needs. A denial can simply mean there were too many applicants and not enough spaces, or that institutional priorities got in the way. If you’re disappointed, manage those feelings away from your student. Your child will bloom wherever they’re planted, and will find their place at a school that’s right for them.
- Focus on the exciting possibilities ahead, and encourage your student to explore other options.
- Celebrate each positive outcome: every acceptance is noteworthy and deserves recognition!